found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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