You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize