I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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