Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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