Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize