Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My breasts were aching with rage.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
