I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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