9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
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