Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
