It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
