During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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