Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
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