We're like a lot better than the average bears
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize