Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
