I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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