wat bout pragnant strippers??
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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