high people should be assigned attendants
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
