Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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