i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
