Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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