i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
