There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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