oh god the rape fog is back!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
