i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
