i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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