My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
