Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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