If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
