I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
sex in a hospital.. check
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
