I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize