they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
