Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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