Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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