Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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