Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
