Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
