So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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