I accidentally burped into my bong.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
