so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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