Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
