I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize