Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
