i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
