So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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