it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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