Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize