We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
