I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
