I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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