I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
