Capitaan dildo arrescate!
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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