Im at strip club and am horny
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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