You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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