like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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