She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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