Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
