Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
