So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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