Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
