How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
