There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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