i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
That reminds me...we need to get swords
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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