dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
