butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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