he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Come see our sink grown plant.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Randomize
