Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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